Crossdressing seems a lot like the rat race of trying to get rich. Those who are consumed with getting rich keep on trying and trying, but never are happy, and never are satisfied. They might even gain a lot of money but there is always one more person to compare themselves to who is more rich and powerful. Or even if they are the richest person in the world, they could imagine having more money in the future. And so they stay consumed with the desire to be rich. They are never satisfied. In fact, they are enslaved to the idol that they have made. They are serving the idol of money and power. It brings them only anxiety, stress, envy, and despair.
Crossdressing is similar. For many it is an idol, just like the quest to get rich. (I personally might presume to call crossdressing an idol by default, but I think most of you can agree at least that it easily has the potential to become an idol for some people).
Crossdressers are consumed with trying to be womanly, with trying to be beautiful. But for those who have made crossdressing an idol, they become enslaved by it, and will not ever be satisfied. They might feel beautiful but there are always other crossdressers or other biological women who will be more beautiful. They will never reach what they are striving. They will keep learning new techniques and new ways to mask their bodies to try to appear as women. They will take classes, read books, watch online videos, and strive to look like women. They will strive to speak like women, and act like women. But still they know that they aren’t really true women. They will never be truly satisfied. They might even take hormones and undergo surgeries to try to finally feel like real women. But again, it never satisfies. They will want all people to look at them as real women, but many will not. They will know they are not “real women” and that their new body shape is a result of surgery. They will never have the real experience of being born a real woman, spirit, mind, and body.
Likewise, crossdressing for sexual pleasure never satisfies. There is always a thirst for more. It starts small, perhaps with just female underwear, or just with dresses. But it grows. There is always a need to add something more. We always need something new. Soon the dress alone isn’t pleasurable. Soon we need shoes with it. After some months, we will need makeup with those just to bring the same amount of pleasure. We become enslaved to wanting to go further, to wanting to do more with our crossdressing. It’s never “enough.” Soon we are becoming fully dressed and made up. It’s still not enough. We look for ways to be adventurous, like going out on the town while dressed. It’s still not enough. We consider making permanent changes to our bodies. We consider flirting with men while dressed up. It’s never enough. It never satisfies. I’ve read forums online of crossdressers discussing this very thing, crossdressers who have given in to every crossdressing desire that they can think of, and they are still not satisfied. Sadly, instead of considering removing oneself from enslavement to crossdressing, the suggestions crossdressers give to other crossdressers are usually about trying yet more new things that will be exciting (but which will ultimately also not satisfy).
Crossdressing is based on deception, upon what is not real. What we desire through it is not attainable. We cannot be the beautiful perfect woman of our imaginings because that is not who we really are. That is a mirage, an illusion. To chase it is to enslave ourselves in an endless rat race.
Instead, I suggest giving up the quest to crossdress at all, just as I would suggest someone should give up the quest to get rich. Crossdressing might be pleasurable in the moment, but it keeps you enslaved, and it never ultimately satisfies. Ultimate meaning and eternal satisfaction is found in God alone. And the good pleasures that God created for us in this life only have meaning and give us joy if we are enjoying them as gifts from the giver, in relationship with Him, and while using the gifts in the way he intended. Let us give up our idols and pointless pursuits and take joy in the God who created us and loves us.
To learn contentment and get out of this endless struggle, please read this post – Integration and Contentment