In my struggle with crossdressing, many Bible verses have been helpful to me. I’ve studied them, memorized some of them, and often read them after failures. I’ll periodically mention and comment on some of them and how they relate to our fight with sexual sin. For those of you who are still struggling, it would surely help you to write some of these down and read them daily, or in times of temptation, or after a failure when you need to be built back up by God’s Word.
My son, keep your father’s command
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them always on your heart;
fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
when you sleep, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.
23 For this command is a lamp,
this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
are the way to life,
24 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife,
from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.
25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes.
26 For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread,
but another man’s wife preys on your very life.
27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?
28 Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?
29 So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.
30 People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense;
whoever does so destroys himself.
33 Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away.
34 For jealousy arouses a husband’s fury,
and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.
35 He will not accept any compensation;
he will refuse a bribe, however great it is.
This passage from Proverbs is a wonderful warning against adultery, prostitution, and lust in general. I know it is not directly about crossdressing. But I think it is helpful for us to still meditate on it and think through how it might relate to crossdressing as another kind of sexual sin. Verse 27 I find particularly helpful. Many crossdressers try to give up crossdressing without getting rid of their female clothing. To give it up means that they don’t plan on ever failing again. But most crossdressers cannot get themselves to the full commitment of quitting for good. They can imagine not giving in for a few weeks, but it’s hard to imagine never giving in again. Verse 27 makes it very clear that if we have fire or hot coals in our laps, we will get burned. I think keeping female clothing around is like keeping a raging fire in our house. I know the arguments about wasting money. I know how difficult it is. But if you keep the female clothing around, you are just asking to fail. It’s like a heroin addict keeping hidden heroin in their house while they are trying to quit. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t work. You shouldn’t try to “test your strength and resolve” by keeping the clothing around. That is just foolish. Most of us will fail. That is how addiction works. Put out the fire so you don’t fail again.
6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
7 Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
8 “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.”
9 “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
10 Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.”
Sometimes we are like Peter. We have failed in many sexual sins and sinned in so many other ways. We really want to try hard to be obedient to Christ so that we can feel good about his love for us. We don’t want to accept his forgiveness as pure grace. But the only way we can have Jesus in our life is to be washed by him, fully and completely. We can’t earn his favor or goodness by trying hard to be holy and obedient. Peter was ashamed to have Jesus washing his feet, let alone all of him. We sometimes are ashamed to go before Jesus as well. We have failed with crossdressing and are ashamed of what we have done. Many of us want to clean ourselves up, and get back to holy living, before we come back to Christ. But that is foolishness. It is when we have messed up so badly, that we need to run to Christ, so that he can wash us and help us. We run to him to be reminded of his grace, that our punishment is taken away and he still loves us. Don’t wait to clean up your life before going to him. If you ever fail in sin, run to him immediately in prayer. Don’t let your shame, guilt, or your pride, or your desire to achieve your own salvation by works, keep you from running to Christ.
1 Peter 5:8
8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
We need to keep our guard up. As Christians, we have assurance that we have the victory, that in the end the devil will be thrown into the lake of fire. The end of the story is that God wins. But right now, God has allowed Satan and his demons to still cause mischief. Even though Satan’s judgment is coming, he is still trying to cause harm to Christians. He delights in tempting us to sin. We don’t have to fear Satan, because his power is far weaker than Christ’s power within us. But we have to be aware of him and his schemes. Stay alert. Be ready for temptation. Don’t let your guard down. Be vigilant. When temptations come, recognize the temptation, and realize you have the power of Christ to resist such temptation. Satan cannot force you to sin. We can have the victory each time.