I want to counteract what I see as false advertising on the internet, even if that false advertising is unintentional. Crossdressers on internet forums and blogs make out that giving up crossdressing is a sure-fire way to be miserable and stressed out, a sure-fire way to have a horrible life. They make it out to be that if you give up crossdressing you are only harming yourself because you can’t accept that you are really a crossdresser and will always be one. Now, I understand that they truly believe this and so their motivation is actually that they are trying to be caring to others. They want to save other crossdressers from despair and from wasting money on purges, and from feeling miserable trying to suppress their desires.
But I want to say that this doesn’t have to be the case, and it was not for me! And I’m sure that there are thousands of others who have given up crossdressing and are completely happy about it. They just don’t have the time to make a blog about it, or don’t have the care or interest to go on crossdressing forums and tell people about it. I would guess that most crossdressers only hear from and talk to other active crossdressers, thus they continue to think that it’s nearly impossible to give up crossdressing, and thus they continue to think that if you do give up crossdressing you will only be miserable, as they talk to other crossdressers who quit temporarily and reported feeling miserable.
Nothing could be further from the truth for me and most of the past crossdressers who are a part of my blog’s community. Not crossdressing does not make me feel like I am suppressing anything. Not crossdressing does not make me feel unhappy. Not crossdressing does not make me feel depressed. Not crossdressing does not make me feel like I’m not being myself. I feel so much less stressed and so much more joyful than during the years when I was crossdressing. I also feel more content in being a man. I feel like a man and enjoy being a man and am noticing ways that I am like other men that I did not realize or appreciate before.
I know that if I read crossdressing stories, or crossdressed in real life, that my body would still find it pleasurable. I don’t know if that will ever change. But it doesn’t matter. I think of alcoholics who stop desiring alcohol, but know that if they start drinking, they will enjoy it and want to keep drinking. The same is true for me. My body will still respond to the stimuli it had become attached to in regards to crossdressing. The addiction has fused those brain synapses, probably for life. But like the alcoholic feels deep regret, frustration, and harm from giving in again, I also know I would feel that way too.
If I was not writing about crossdressing in an attempt to provide a place for guys to get help from this addiction, I probably wouldn’t think about crossdressing any more at all for the most part. And that sounds like a wonderful beautiful thing. I’m honestly very tired of thinking about it. The more years that go by, the more ugly crossdressing seems to me. But God has called me to keep working on this blog in order to help others. So I will continue. And I must say I immensely enjoy the wonderful relationships with other brothers in Christ that God has brought to me. They have encouraged me so much.
I of course cannot guarantee that if you give up crossdressing, that you will have my experience. But I will say that it is possible to give up crossdressing, and it is possible to give it up and be happy. There are many stories of doing so on my site or linked from my site. You don’t have to have despair. There can be hope and freedom for you.