Many of us today might feel like we are stuck in the worst period of history given our particular struggles. At no time in history have crossdressing and transgenderism been more accepted and celebrated than they are today. Even many people who don’t experience gender dysphoria themselves are claiming that sex and gender are not binary, but along a spectrum and they are changeable. And more than at any other time in history, we have the technology, medical advances, and cosmetics to be able to truly make a person appear as if they were a person of the opposite sex. And so far, there doesn’t seem to be any sign of this trend changing. Things may get worse. It is an understatement to say that all of this makes me alarmed and disturbed.
For those of us who struggle with temptations to crossdress, or temptations to act on our gender dysphoria through trying to live as the opposite sex, we live in a time period where it seems almost impossible to resist the tidal wave of pressure to give in to these temptations. At least if we were born a couple hundred years ago, we would have resisted our temptations solely out of fear of being found out. But now that we live in a time in which we don’t really have to be afraid to publicly crossdress, it becomes very hard to resist temptation. It makes it even harder when we watch our brothers give in to temptation and yet they are celebrated as heroes, given awards, given television shows, and lauded as courageous examples for all people to follow.
Those of us who stubbornly refuse to continue crossdressing, and those of us who refuse to alter our bodies and divorce our wives in order to resolve our dysphoria, we are considered weak by some people in modern society. We are seen as too afraid to be ourselves. Worse, we can be hated and taunted by other crossdressers for not giving in to crossdressing.
For those wives who are married to husbands who crossdress, when you refuse to accept the crossdressing with open arms, you are seen as stubborn, cruel, bigoted, and close-minded women. Your husbands and many people in the culture are not willing to listen to your point of view. Many people expect you to find enjoyment in dressing up your husband, and learn to be satisfied in a sort of lesbian relationship with your crossdressed husband instead of divorcing. Rather than comforting you as victims of marital unfaithfulness, many people would rather shame you, saying that you are refusing to love your husbands when they are just trying to be themselves.
For the psychologists and scientists who are trying to hold on to thousands of years of research into what makes men and women different, in terms of our physical bodies and our personalities, it is a tough time to live in as well. It is extremely hard for them to confront the gender ideologies and transgender activists who have so much power, even legal power, in our modern times. No matter how many times they point out how illogical the new gender theories are, and how they do not fit with the clear tangible results of scientific study, they are still branded as being behind the times, being on the wrong side of history, and even called bigoted and hateful. If they state that men and women are biologically different, and that a man cannot become a woman just by saying he is one, they are viewed to be just as deplorable as the psychologists performing conversion therapy for those who struggle with same-sex attraction.
Brothers and sisters, the time we live in is frightful. But be comforted! And stand firm! God is still in control of this world. God is with us. It might seem like the worst time in history for us to have been born. But God has a plan for our lives. Could it be that God raised us up at just such a time as this, to bear witness to the truth in a culture that is rejecting God and his good creation?
Remember the horrible position that Esther found herself in, and yet through that position God used her to save all of the Jewish people. It was all in God’s plan. He is powerful enough to use even suffering for good in his plan.
Esther 4:12-14 –
12 When Esther’s words were reported to Mordecai, 13 he sent back this answer: “Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. 14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?”
We live in a special time. A time of trials and temptations. A time of persecution. Yet it has always been that way for God’s people. Though people persecute us, we have the victory. They are the ones to be pitied. Yes we suffer, but we are God’s children, we have God’s love, and we have eternal life. And God will reward us for our faithfulness with treasures in Heaven. As Hebrews says below, don’t grow weary and lose heart, but fix your eyes on Jesus. Please slowly read these passages and ponder them in your heart.
12 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. 4 In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
2 Timothy 3:12-13
In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13 while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.
1 Peter 4:12-16
12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15 If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16 However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.
We need to stand firm and resist temptation, even if the whole world tells us to give in. Remember that although we live in this world, our citizenship is in Heaven. We are always on the wrong side of history according to the world. We always are people who don’t fit in. We are pilgrims temporarily traveling here in this fallen world. We must resist conforming ourselves to how everyone else lives. We follow a different master, a different Lord than they do. We need to persevere and keep resisting sin and keep asking God to change our desires. Sometimes we might feel like we are gritting our teeth in order to not give in. But God gives us strength to resist each temptation. He is with us and does not leave us alone. Meditate on these Bible passages about not following the ways of this world.
You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
1 John 2:15-17
15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.
We also need to speak the truth. We must not cave in to pressure. We must not give in to fear of rebuke or even fear of legal consequences. We must speak the truth regardless of whether speaking that truth causes us to suffer. As pastor Tim Challies reminds us, we must be like the boy who said the Emperor is wearing no clothing! See his article – But He Hasn’t Got Anything On! This does not at all mean we should be people who are obnoxious and mean going around saying, “Look at that ugly man in a dress!” Of course not. But we should be people who refuse to give in to the modern gender ideologies. We must insist that the gender binary is real, and insist that people cannot truly change their sex just by getting a few surgeries.
Most importantly, we must point people to Jesus, and proclaim the good news of the Gospel. And as we speak to people and argue for the truth, we must remember to love even those people who disagree with us, and even the people who persecute us and slander us. We must love them in spite of their sins as God has loved us in spite of our sins. We must be patient with them and we must forgive those who harm us. And we must be kind, generous, and willing to serve them.
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
1 Peter 2:11-12
11 Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 12 Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
Let’s keep on encouraging each other and meeting together. This world can be a lonely place, especially when it seems like everyone else has started to celebrate sin. Keep on coming to this website and supporting one another and praying for one another. I’m very grateful for all of you as you have made me to know I am not alone in all of this. May God bless you and give you strength to endure!